awkward as a cow on roller skates

*awkward as a cow on a crutch & *awkward as a cow on roller skates

very clumsy or off balance. (*Also: as \awkward as a cow on roller skates.) •

When Lulu was overweight, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch.

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Tom will never be a gymnast. He's as awkward as a cow on roller skates!